exploring eternity, Uncategorized

Reflections in the Wilderness

Rosh Hashana began at sundown on September 9th.  This biblical holiday marks the beginning of a new year on the biblical calendar, the year 5779 on the Jewish calendar.  It also marks the beginning of the Feast of Trumpets or the 10 Days of Awe that culminate in Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement. This is a time of reflection.  In part, It’s a time of asking God if there’s anything in your life that needs to change.

For me, it’s a wilderness season.  I’m asking God and myself a lot of questions right now.  My time of reflection is a bit more significant this year.

This morning God reminded me a of another significant time in my life.  For about ten years, I ran from God.  To make a  long story short, He chased me down and caught me.  One Sunday during this season, I was in a worship service and just discovering the power and presence of God in worship.  I was in the back row singing with all my heart.  After the service, a woman in front of took my hand and said “You have an amazing voice.  You need to be on the worship team.”  She then proceeded to take me to the priest who oversaw the worship team and told him the same thing.  He said, “Sure, just come to practice next week.”

I hadn’t planned on this nor was I prepared for it.  I was just a returning prodigal.  I had been out of the Christian music loop for ten years. Practically speaking, I didn’t know any of the songs! I went to practice and was overwhelmed stumbling my way through the music that everyone else knew so well.  Afterwards, the leader told me that if I was going to sing with them I had to sing louder.  He didn’t understand that I simply didn’t know the songs

That said, I didn’t want to get kicked off the worship team. For the next six months or so, the second I received the song list for the next service, I tracked down the CDs for every song and played them over and over so that I would be ready for worship team practice.  I was in very own Christian music intensive course catching up on the ten years of music that I missed.

So why did the Lord bring this to mind this morning? I’m not really sure, yet. I suspect it’s His way of reminding me that even when I feel unequipped or behind in my training, knowledge or abilities he can catch me up quickly provided I have the passion and drive to cooperate with Him. He did it then and can do it again.  My lack can’t become my focus.  My focus has to stay on Him and his ability to do “infinitely more than all I could ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within me.”

exploring eternity

Our Spiritual Ancestry.com Part II

I was done – completely and utterly done.  Everything was impossible: work, home, family … nothing was working.  I was exhausted and felt so alone.  My bedroom was on the second floor of a beautiful old home in Southeast DC.  I could climb out of my window and escape to the roof where I could see the moon and the stars.  This was my habit.  I usually went out there to read, but on this night, it was the only escape I could find from the swirl I was in.

I just sat there and cried.  iTunes was playing in the background and “When the Saints” by Sara Groves came on.  I didn’t hear it at first because the volume was so low, but I hadn’t heard this song in a while so its distinctive cadence caught my attention. Actually, It was Holy Spirit that caught my attention – this song was meant for me in that moment.

It put my current pain and struggles into context.  I wasn’t alone anymore.  I felt like those who came before me in faith saw me and were cheering me on.  That God himself was kissing me on the cheek saying, “hang in there – I’m with you just like I was with them.”

We find comfort, strength and encouragement in the stories of those that came before us in faith and in the ongoing stories of those who are with us on the journey. No matter who you are or where you come from, when you give it all over to Jesus you gain a whole new lineage and a vastly extended family as you find your place in God’s eternal story.

Here’s that song – enjoy!